The Laura Series: Episode 1 That New World Charm
by Evelyn Brightpaw
Summary: In my Whoniverse, the TV show exists alongside the real Doctor, and his newest companion is a big fan of the show. She's also an American, giving rise to some great cross-cultural humor. More of a mini-sode, as an intro to Laura. Longer ones to follow.


Doctor Who

Episode 1 : That New World Charm

Patriotic American music playing faintly in the background. Camera pans over books and notebooks strewn over a bed… up across the American flag on the wall… down to the obviously stressed college student, calculator in hand.

Laura: "…. Okay… if the first derivative finds the extrema, and the second derivative finds the concavity… then… rrr!! This  is why I failed the AP test!"

Camera pans to corner slowly, where the TARDIS is beginning to materialize. Laura takes no notice. The Doctor steps out and, with a confused look, turns so that his back is to Laura.

Doctor: "Well, those were definitely the wrong coordinates."

He continues to look amused. Laura slowly places her calculator down on the bed.

Laura: "Um… w-- … th-- … hi…. Um, yeah. 'Scuse me…. Pretty sure I did not invite you in here."

Doctor: (turning) "What? Oh. Course you didn't. Incidentally, when did they build all this?"

He points all around. The situation is only marginally sinking in for Laura.

Laura: "According to my roomie… about three years ago…."

Doctor: "Ah well…. Time flies, doesn't it?"

Laura: "Yeah… I guess…. Okay, my question now. There's a TARDIS… in my room… which makes you…."

Doctor: "The Doctor. Pleased to – "

Laura: "Doctor…. Of course…. Dude, I shouldn't have taken that cold medicine…."

The Doctor looks hurt that she ignored his handshake.

Doctor: "Oh. Well then. Ehm… what's your name?"

Laura: "Laura Abbey, a currently hallucinating college student."

Doctor: "I see…."

He begins looking around as she gets up.

"Charming décor…. You're an American, how lovely!"

He tries to peek behind the flag.

Laura: "Yeah, study abroad program."

Doctor: "And how's that… eh… how's that going for you?"

Laura: "It's……going…. At least it was going… until freakin' David Tennant shows up in my bedroom…."

She is having an "Elaine in disgusted resignation" moment. The Doctor is now eating the Hot Tamales he has found among her belongings. He drops one in confusion and speaks through a full mouth.

Doctor: "What?"

Laura: "Never mind…. Ah… gosh…. Perhaps I should just play along, I'll wake up eventually…."

She returns her full attention to him just in time to see him hiding the box of candy inside his coat.

"So, what dangerous misusers of human intelligence are you chasing at the moment?"

As she speaks, she is trying to peek inside the TARDIS. The Doctor looks at her quizzically (with a mouthful of candy).

Doctor: "Actually I'm…on a sort of...holiday… what are you looking for?"

Laura: "The infamous 'Companion.' That's, assuming my fevered fantasies follow the TV series Doctor Who Canon."

Doctor: (looks first confused, then sad) "Well, I'm sort of…companion…less…at the moment. Could use one, though."

He looks at her expectantly with a "dashing" face. She still looks blank; he slightly extends his lower lip.

Laura: "Okay…." (deep breath) "Hypothetically…. Assuming this is more than a medicine-induced vision…. If one was to go with you…you could return them…."

Doctor: "…Right back here. Same time and place…. Whaddya say?"

She debates in a very "Elaine" way. The Doctor keeps leaning closer and closer with a slightly creepy smile. Laura is creeped out.

Laura: "I say that face isn't helping your argument."

Doctor: "Sorry."

Laura: "Okay, think rational. Of course, if I was being rational, I would know you weren't real. Which you aren't. You're an illusion spawned from the mixture of lack of sleep and living in London, exposed to the proverbial 'Whoniverse' twenty four – seven. It's like radiation poisoning. My very cells have been mutated by exposure to David Tennant. Maybe that's it – he's radioactive. That would explain a lot."

Doctor: (sniffing petulantly) "I died from radiation once…."

Laura: "Okay, I'm starting to question my sanity now. I had some sleeping pills…somewhere…."

She begins searching the nightstand. He walks toward her; she finds the pills and holds them up.

"AHA! Stop right there!" (rattling the bottle) "Ha, what now? What now, Doctor Hallucination? Ha!" (pulls out a pill) "See this? This will go in my mouth, and then my bloodstream, and then you will go far away!" (swallows the pill) "Because you are a figment of my imagination!"

Doctor: "I am – "

Laura: (pointing at him) "Figment!"

She crawls backward into bed and pulls the covers over her head. He moves over to the bedside and pokes her.

"FIGMENT!!"

The Doctor sticks his tongue out at her, then moves away, toward the TARDIS, acting freaked out.

Doctor: "All right…. Leaving…. See, this is the sound of me leaving…." (shuffles his feet. The door of the TARDIS squeaks as he opens it.)

"This is me…getting into the TARDIS…. This is the door closing…on me…by myself…alone…." (he clears his throat.)

"Well then… eh… cheerio… and all that…."

The door closes and the TARDIS fades. Laura peeks out from under the sheets. Upon seeing the empty room, she promptly collapses, sound asleep.

Cut to title credits and theme.

Scene opens in a college lecture hall. The projector reads "The Molecular Specifics of Spermatogenesis." As the presentation begins, camera moves to the back rows, where Laura sits, looking bored. She sighs and leans back in her seat. Her shoulder hits someone's elbow. She looks around, sees the Doctor, and freaks out. He is leaning on the seat beside her, chin in hands.

Doctor: "Fascinating topic isn't it?"

Laura: "What are you doing here?"

Doctor: "I'm not here. I'm a figment of your imagination, remember?"

Laura: "Y'know ---- "

Doctor: "Figment!"

Laura: "OK, OK, so maybe I overreacted a tiny bit. But it's not every day that David Tennant walks into your bedroom ----"

Doctor: "Fades."

Laura: "…**fades**into your bedroom and offers to kidnap you."

Doctor: "Now, see, there you go with the whole name thing again. Did you miss the part where I said I was **The Doctor**?"

Laura: "Oh, forget it."

Doctor: "And I've never kidnapped anyone. Well, there was that once…. But that was purely accidental! Completely unintentional."

Laura: "Yeah. Sure it was. OK." (Closes laptop, turns in seat.) "Say I go with you. I'm looking at daily risk of bodily harm and/or emotional scarring, right?"

Doctor: "It happens."

Laura: "Do I have to sign a waiver or something to keep you out of legal trouble?"

Doctor: "Of course not. I take full responsibility for any companion's loss of property, health, or sanity."

Laura: "Isn't that comforting. Any time stipulations?"

Doctor: "Nope. You are free to end your companionship whenever you choose."

Laura: (Thinks for a moment.) "Do I get cell phone service in these other dimensions? 'Cause I gotta say, that just seems like it would kill your signal."

Doctor: "Oh, here and there, here and there. 'Bout like anywhere on Earth, actually. Course, after my last run-in with the Void, we're pretty well stuck in this dimension anyway."

Laura: "Will my e-mail still function?"

Doctor: "Don't see why not."

Laura: "TV?"

Doctor: "In high definition."

Laura: "Unlimited refrigerator access?"

Doctor: "If you must be so very American."

Laura: "Hey, I am what I am." (Thinks very hard.) "Hmm… foosball table?"

Doctor: "Ooh ---- working on that one. Gotta find a place to put it."

She stares at her laptop, making a seemingly life-changing decision. The Doctor moves his face extremely close to hers and adopts an "innocent child" look.

"_**Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeze**__**………**_"

She looks at him out of the corner of her eye. Camera cuts back and forth between her and the Doctor; he becomes increasingly sad looking, while her eye becomes progressively twitchier.

"_**Pleee **_**---- **"

Laura: "**All** right, all right, all right." (She sighs.) "I'll go."

Doctor: "Fantastic! To the TARDIS!"

He heads excitedly for the door as she begins gathering her stuff.

Laura: "Oh, no you don't. My place first. No way I'm going without packing."

She swings on her backpack and heads for the back of the room. The Doctor shoves his hands in his pockets and turns to look at the presentation being given. The professor is mumbling incoherently. On the projector, a blurry video of a sperm cell may be seen. The Doctor makes a disgusted face and walks out after her.

Cut to outside, a busy street.

Laura is walking very fast through the crowd. The Doctor struggles to keep up.

Doctor: "So ---- " (Dodges a person.) "Remind me again why we're walking!?" (Dodge.)

Laura: "Because something tells me that showing up in the middle of Starbucks in the TARDIS might turn a few heads." (She is at the door.) "Are you coming?"

The Doctor is trapped in a whirlpool of pedestrians, slapping frantically all around him, trying to get out. He is very Kramer-esque in this scene. He breaks free, only to run into a large man carrying a large coffee. The coffee spills only on the large, now angry, man.

Man: "Blyme!! What d'y'fink you're doin'?!? Bleedin' idiot!!"

He walks away, steaming.

Doctor: "Hey, I'm walkin' here!" (He meets Laura at the door.) "Still think the TARDIS is the biggest distraction?"

They laugh as they enter the building. Cut to shot of hot beverage being poured into a Starbucks cup.

Doctor: "So, tell me, who **is** this 'David Tennant' chap you keep goin' on about?"

Laura takes her coffee from the worker and they turn to leave.

Laura: "Okay, I'll attempt to explain."

Cut back to street shot.

"Not sure where you've been for the past half a century, but BBC's been making a killing off your life story for the past… I dunno, forty, fifty years?"

Doctor: "Me? I'm sorry, I don't follow…."

Cut to a shot from inside a building's lobby as the two enter through revolving doors. Add revolving door joke as necessary.

Laura: "You're a TV show ---- Doctor Who. Currently Saturdays at 7:00. I thought you had HDTV."

Doctor: "Well, conveniently, that's usually when I'm out saving Earth. It's a busy time of day."

Laura: "Of course, so conveniently."

Cut to shot of the two climbing stairs.

Doctor: "Is it really about me? And who's the David Tennant fellow?"

Laura: "Ah…half human, half Timelord… TARDIS… companion… save the world…. Yeah, it's pretty much you. David Tennant is the lead actor."

Doctor: (Pauses for thought.) "Is he sexy?" (Eyebrow wiggle.)

They reach the landing and she stops.

Laura: "We are **not** having this conversation."

She unlocks her room and they enter.

"Here, maybe I should just show you." (She gives him a DVD.) "Watch this while I pack."

He puts in the DVD and the episode appears. He is thoroughly astounded.

Doctor: "Look at that! That's amazing! Got the TARDIS interior right and everything! Ha! Brilliant! Ooh, is that him? Wonderful! Looks just like me!"

Such rambling continues. Camera pans to clock, which then slowly moves an hour ahead to show passage of time. Laura is sitting on her suitcase in an attempt to close it.

Laura: "Well?"

Doctor: "That was great. I mean, that was really great."

Laura: (Hopping off the luggage.) "So how much of that stuff actually happened?"

Doctor: "Oh, well, over half, I'd say. And the other stuff was darn good, too, I think. Looked like fun! We might have to try to replicate some of it…."

Laura: "Hmm, no thank you on the attacked by bad guys parts. Keep that to a minimum, shall we?"

Doctor: "Well, yeah, but…." (glancing at her luggage) "All that?"

Laura: "Yep. Young American female, remember?"

Doctor: "Right."

He moves to take her bags, then sees another DVD case in the corner

"What's this?"

Laura: "What? Oh. That's the previous season. Different… companion…. -- Doctor?"

He is staring with a pained look at the picture on the cover of the case. He lets it fall softly from his hands, picks up her bags, and walks out. Looking after him, she bends and picks it up—it shows the Doctor and… Rose. She sighs.

"I guess she was one of the things that really happened."

She puts it down and takes her coat, turning off the lights as she exits.

"Wait for me!...."

Camera pans to the DVD case, specifically focused on Rose. Music fades in, cut to commercial.

Open shot with a stray cat inspecting garbage cans in an alley. Camera follows as cat makes its way to the base of the TARDIS. It begins to paw at the door, but is suddenly frightened back into the shadows as the Doctor jogs loudly into the alley, followed more slowly by Laura. Pan up from the ground to their faces.

Doctor: (very excited) "Here we are! Your first trip on the TARDIS!" (they walk/jog over to the door.) "Isn't she beautiful?"

Laura: (looking down) "Hmm… kitty seems to think so."

The Doctor notices the cat for the first time and grimaces.

Doctor: "Ugh…. Hurry and get in, before it attacks."

The Doctor lingers a moment, making faces and hissing at the cat. He then enters backwards, removing his coat as he speaks.

"Now, you're not hallucinating, trust me. It's b—"

Laura: "Bigger on the inside. Yeah. I got that."

The Doctor is offended that she has stolen his line.

Doctor: "Spoilsport…."

Laura: (correcting him) "TV addict. Which reminds me…."

She puts her hands on her hips and looks all around her.

"Where's this TV you mentioned?"

Doctor: "All in good time, all in good time. First thing's first, though. Let's get you settled in."

He picks up her bags and heads out of the console room. Camera pans to the side, passing through the wall – picture is black for a moment. Shot reopens in a dim room, with Laura and the Doctor in the doorway. The lights come on.

"This'll be your room… for all of the three times you might actually sleep here…."

She wanders around, inspecting.

Laura: "Hmm…. Nice, nice…." (She tests the bed.) "I'm likin' the bed… ooh, not so much the wall color… no, we're fixing the wall color. Can we change the wall color? I'm seeing blue."

The Doctor is a little bemused; he looks at the walls, scratching the back of his neck, evaluating.

Doctor: "Well, I suppose…."

Laura: "And that corner over there's kinda empty. Wait…."

She searches through one of her bags; a moment later, she pulls out a large, rubbery, translucent purple something.

"Inflatable chair! Yeah, baby! Ooh, wait—"

She grabs at her pocket; a cell phone vibration may be heard. She wrestles it out of her jeans and hold up her finger.

(whispering) "Just a minute…."

Doctor: "Oh, boy…."

Laura: "Hello? …. Oh, hey! How's everything going back on our side of the pond? …. Yeah, I'm great. School's great. Actually I'm about to leave London, it's a… vacation.. sort of.. thingy…."

They leave the room and the camera follows them to the console. As they turn the corner, cut to shot of Lewis in his room, at his computer. He leans back in his chair.

Lewis: "Ooh, vacation, eh. Nice."

Cut back to console room.

Laura: "Yeah. It looks really promising… great scenery…."

They continue to talk, ad-libbed. The Doctor fiddles with the instruments. Lewis can be heard faintly over the phone. Suddenly, the Doctor does something that causes a very loud, very recognizable "TARDIS sound." Cut to Lewis in his room.

Lewis: "Are you watching Doctor Who?"

Cut back to console room.

Laura: "Umm…. Yeah. Of course. Watchin' Doctor Who. That's me."

Doctor: (mouthing) "Who is it?"

Laura: (whispering) "Lewis."

The Doctor gets right up next to the phone.

Doctor: " 'Ello, Lewis! Betcha can't guess who this is!"

Laura tries to smack him away, but he dodges.

Laura: "Ignore that! You heard nothing!"

Lewis: "Was that—"

Laura: "No."

Shots are cutting back and forth.

Lewis: "It was! That was David Tennant!"

Laura: "No, it wasn't!"

Lewis: "You're talking to David Tennant! How did you swing this one?!?"

Laura: "I didn't! Look, let me attempt to explain."

Lewis: "Please do. I'm all a – tingle."

Laura: (sighs) "I'm with the Doctor."

Lewis: "No, really."

Laura: "I'm with The Doctor. He's real."

Lewis: "You're joking, of course."

Laura: "No, I'm not. It—" (rolling her eyes) "He doesn't believe me."

She looks at the Doctor expectantly, pointing to the phone with her eyes.

Doctor: "Here, give it to me."

Laura: "What?"

Doctor: "Gimme the phone, come on." (taking it) " 'Ello, Lewis, is it? Well, nice to meet you, Lewis. I'm the Doctor. Not David Tennant, though, just the Doctor. Although, I must say, the Tennant fellow does a wicked job at bein' me on that show of his. You watch it too, then?"

Cut to Lewis, an astonished look on his face.

Lewis: "This is serious, then! You're serious! You're being serious! Ha! This is great!!"

Doctor: "Yes…."

Cut back to console room.

"Yes it is! It's pretty great. Now, eh, it might be best if we end our little chat. Traveling through time and space, and all that, might lose signal mid-sentence! She'll call you back! Great, g'bye!"

He hangs up and gives her back the phone.

Laura: "You hung up on him."

Doctor: "Nah, he said g'bye… sort of…."

He walks over and fiddles with some more instruments.

"Now, the big question."

He walks over to her slowly, hands in pockets, with his characteristic grin.

"Where do you want to go."

Laura: (slowly, almost flirtatiously) "Surprise me."

The Doctor heads toward the console, his head turned coquettishly.

Doctor: "You asked for it."

Fade in music, cut to end credits.


End file.
